The happiness day of my life is my graduation because at this time I was the only princess in the world. First, I really enjoyed it because in the morning I woke up, and my mother said,” This is your day and you going to be the most beautiful princess in the world.” We started the day with a big breakfast with all my family. After that, my mother and I went at my hairdresser studio, and she did my hair. I was very excited to wear my beautiful prom dress, so just after to leave my house I dressed in princess. My father was not at my graduation but I send me a letter and a big bouquet of flowers and my boyfriend to. Second, I arrived at school my friends and I took a lot of pictures of us. We went in a place that they call:” Jardin des oiseaux”. There are a lot of flowers and trees. Next, we came in the school and one after the other we went on the stage to search the diploma!! All the parents were there to look at us. Third, at the end of the day all my family and I went to a big restaurant to celebrate my graduation, and we have a big diner all together.
I am really impressed with your great topic sentence, Audrey!
ReplyDeleteThis is very well organized except for one part. Look at the time when you add information about your father and when you add information about the parents. These two ideas should be together.
CHECK: The HAPPIEST day of my life..
CHECK: Verb - STARTED